5 Ways To Say You’re Sorry With Flowers

Plants have a long history of being used as peace offerings, and in the West, the Victorian’s language of flowers has become the go-to code for floral confessions. Purple hyacinth is a good basic flower for a floral apology (it symbolizes sorrow and the general desire for forgiveness), while a few stems of gladiolus (which mean sincerity) make any arrangement seem more earnest. Seek out these flowers when buying an “apology” bouquet.

One of the most important parts of an apology is saying what you’re sorry for. The language of flowers is vast, so get specific. Did something dumb? A few stems of geranium stand for stupidity and folly, while marigolds communicate chagrin. Were you rude? Bluebells and Lily-of-the-Valley symbolize humility. Want to just bury the hatchet? Yellow roses stand for friendship and joy. Put some thought into it– a little goes a long way.

Take a good hard look at the flowers you’re putting together. A lot of the language of flowers is derived from what the flower looks, feels, or smells like. Start with one or two of the previously-mentioned flowers and build intuitively around it. (For example, if you know she loves lavender, throw a sprig in.) Take the language of flowers as guidelines– build your own meanings and the apology will be even more sincere.

Typically, the language of flowers was used to create tussie mussies: small, fragrant, hand-held arrangements with colorful ribbons wrapped around the stems. The diminutive size and scented flowers made the message more intimate and personal. If you’re looking to apologize with flowers, we recommend making a tussie mussie yourself: it adds a meaning, personalizes the arrangement, and shows you’re willing to put in the effort.

When in doubt, a handwritten companion card goes a long way. If you’re not sure where to start, explain what you picked and why. No disagreement was ever really settled without some reflection, so use this as a time to think about what went wrong and how to keep it from happening again.